Good bye old friend

Today was a day that I knew was coming, but was never ready for. Big Fella is gone. I know he was just a cat, but he was the coolest cat to roam the Earth. I adopted him from a no kill shelter when he was 2. He had been there since he was 6 weeks old! From day 1, I knew he was special. He gave us lots of giggles. We always joked that he had a hidden opposable thumb because he would easily open cabinets, drawers, doors even the lid to the fish tank. He would sit under the table when we would eat, and if it was shrimp or turkey, you would see a black paw with one claw extended feeling around the edge of the table. We called the claw his cocktail toothpick and he used it to try to stab at bits of food he thought he was getting.
He was also the sweet old soul of the house. He loved to curl up w/ the dogs, cats he didn't care. Anyone that would give him love, he'd be their best friend. He always knew when I was sad and tried to make it all better. He saw me through crappy jobs, crappier boyfriends and all the other bumps on the road of life. Through it all, I knew I could always lay my head down on my pillow at night and that wonderful cat would curl up right next to my head and purr softly to help me sleep.
The last month was a rough one. He started to lose weight. His heart murmur got crazy. Then he stopped really eating. Last week was the last time I heard him purr or meow. He spent the last few days laying around on my bed or in the closet. I knew it was time. My big chatty loveable cat had become small, weak and quiet. I decided to have him put to sleep. Last night was rough. I cried. Nick cried. I cried some more. I prayed for God to take him so I wouldn't have to go through with it. This morning I took Hud to preschool, came home and puttered around the house. I cried. Hard. His appointment was only 30 minutes away. I reluctantly got his carrier out of the garage and put a nice towel in it. I went to my room and petted his head. He was panting by this point. Heart failure. I kissed him gently on the head and cried some more. I went into the kitchen and heard this strange bellow like sound from my room. I rushed in and he was gone. He died at home, on my bed in his favorite spot. I can't believe he went right before we had to leave! I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I am so greatful that my prayer was answered, but I am so devestated. I can't imagine my crazy house without him here. I was so lucky to have such a great cat. I will miss him dearly. He was, afterall, Big Fella.

This morning, as I was leaving to take Hud to school, I reminded him to go say bye to Fella. He leaned in my room and in his little 3 year old voice said, "Bye Fewwa. I miss you.". I couldn't have said it better myself.

Bye Fella. I miss you.