Stone Henge

Bitsy is a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong, we love the puppy, but good Lord has she regressed. She has decided to take up the hobby of recreating Stone Henge, in poop, on the gameroom floor. And, she likes to practice her craft as often as possible. Just like a child, after months of crate training, we thought she was fully house trained. This works for her because she likes to tunnel under our covers and sleep down in the depths of our bed at night. It's really cute, but also a dangerous sleeping arrangement, depending on what we had for dinner. Dutch Oven is a risky game for even a puppy.
But, I've noticed that on nights that she doesn't get her 3-4 mile walk, she retaliates by leaving land mines for me to find in the morning. Well, with the heat lately, the walks have become few and far between and Bitsy LaRue is not happy. It all came to a head finally, the other night. I was jolted from my sleep by the sound of ears flapping. I open one eye, and in the dark can make out the silhouette of a small dog sitting up at the foot of the bed. Great. Now I face the delima of do I get up and check or ignore the obvious? My OCD kicks in and I decide to go on a turd hunt....at 2am. I manage to stumble up the stairs and with one squinty dry eye open, I flip on the light and see it there on the floor. Stone Henge. In poop. I tip toe to the bathroom (b/c it is right across the hall from Hud's room) and grab some Kleenex and head back to the crime scene, pick up the mess and tip toe back to the bathroom to flush the little rocks away for good. Most people would go back to bed at this point. I'm not most people. Lucky for me, Santa brought me a spot bot for Christmas. If you aren't familiar, this little miracle is a steam cleaner that does all the work. There is no way I can sleep knowing that there are poop germs partying on the carpet, but I can't turn on the miracle worker in the middle of the night. It would definitely wake the boys. I decide to put it directly on the germ party, so in the morning I can just turn it on.
I come back downstairs and decide that she can not stay out the rest of the night. I pick up the dog and head back upstairs to put her in her cage. Back downstairs I go. No wonder I have insomnia!
Nick gets up for work early, so out of pity, I have him let Bitsy back out so she can cover dive and sleep in her favorite spot. I get up a bit later and have coffee, but don't go upstairs right away b/c the boys are still sleeping. Not long later, I hear Hud at the top of the stairs announcing, "Mom! Bitsy go poop in my toys!". WHAT!?!?!?! Surely, surely this is wrong. I go flying up the stairs and low and behold....Stone Henge again! How much food did that dog eat the day before? Well, at this point, it's out of the spot bots realm, so I had no choice but to fire up the big gun and just clean the entire upstairs carpet. Dog 1, Me 0. Wait, scratch that b/c she now sleeps in her cage. Dog 1, Me 1.

Hudson BalboaI

For those of you that know Hudson, you know the trials and tribulations we have gone through over the last 18 months with him beating up kids smaller than him. I mean, the kid is 3, and little for 3, so there isn't much to pick from when you are looking for kids smaller than him. He's gotten much better and the last few months haven't shown any trouble. Ah, but today....I picked the boys up from gymnastics day camp and should have noticed by the dark clouds and vultures looming overhead that evil was afoot. I walked in and see him being put in time out. Great. I sit in the back for a few minutes and observe. He's fake crying, trying so hard w/ those big brown eyes to manipulate the 16 year old girl that is attempting discipline. I walk up and she tells me that he has PUNCHED a girl in the eye! Whaaaaa??? I ask if he was provoked, fully knowing the answer. Seems it got a bit chaotic and he started crying and decided that the little 3 year old girl next to him was responisble for it all. I guess I need to start sending him to camp in a little stained white tank top, fake barbed wire arm tattoos and putting his juice in an old Miller Lite can.

Maiden Voyage

By popular demand, and by popular, I mean like 8 people, I have decided to start a blog. I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys, Henry is 5 and Hudson is 3. I share a home w/ my wonderful workaholic husband, 3 cats, 2 dogs and a partridge in a pear tree. Most days are spent doing glamorous things like cleaning,grocery shopping, working out, cleaning, Wii tournaments (and losing to the 5 year old), cleaning and cleaning. Being a SAHM (stay at home mom for all y'all novices) after years in the sales force is still an adjustment. I have a shrine to the former me in my closet because I refuse to get rid of my Ann Taylor suits and fab high heel collection. It's like asking my husband to sell his motorcycle. There are just some things we won't do. I tend to refocus my energy into decorating my little castle, inventing recipes and trying to be the most creative mom I can be. So, stay tuned. Most of my material comes from the boys and it's usually good for a laugh. I'll leave you with an example:

As I was driving home recently, we passed a large heard of cattle grazing in a field. Henry says, "Look....those cows are having lunch." I said, "Yes, and they need to eat up so they'll get fat and juicy.". "Why?", he asks. I explain, as best I can, "That's were burgers come from. They get ground up and made into burgers.". Henry sits quietly for a minute, little brain wheels turning, and says, "Well, that's not very nice for the cows, is it?".

Good night all......