Good bye old friend

Today was a day that I knew was coming, but was never ready for. Big Fella is gone. I know he was just a cat, but he was the coolest cat to roam the Earth. I adopted him from a no kill shelter when he was 2. He had been there since he was 6 weeks old! From day 1, I knew he was special. He gave us lots of giggles. We always joked that he had a hidden opposable thumb because he would easily open cabinets, drawers, doors even the lid to the fish tank. He would sit under the table when we would eat, and if it was shrimp or turkey, you would see a black paw with one claw extended feeling around the edge of the table. We called the claw his cocktail toothpick and he used it to try to stab at bits of food he thought he was getting.
He was also the sweet old soul of the house. He loved to curl up w/ the dogs, cats he didn't care. Anyone that would give him love, he'd be their best friend. He always knew when I was sad and tried to make it all better. He saw me through crappy jobs, crappier boyfriends and all the other bumps on the road of life. Through it all, I knew I could always lay my head down on my pillow at night and that wonderful cat would curl up right next to my head and purr softly to help me sleep.
The last month was a rough one. He started to lose weight. His heart murmur got crazy. Then he stopped really eating. Last week was the last time I heard him purr or meow. He spent the last few days laying around on my bed or in the closet. I knew it was time. My big chatty loveable cat had become small, weak and quiet. I decided to have him put to sleep. Last night was rough. I cried. Nick cried. I cried some more. I prayed for God to take him so I wouldn't have to go through with it. This morning I took Hud to preschool, came home and puttered around the house. I cried. Hard. His appointment was only 30 minutes away. I reluctantly got his carrier out of the garage and put a nice towel in it. I went to my room and petted his head. He was panting by this point. Heart failure. I kissed him gently on the head and cried some more. I went into the kitchen and heard this strange bellow like sound from my room. I rushed in and he was gone. He died at home, on my bed in his favorite spot. I can't believe he went right before we had to leave! I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I am so greatful that my prayer was answered, but I am so devestated. I can't imagine my crazy house without him here. I was so lucky to have such a great cat. I will miss him dearly. He was, afterall, Big Fella.

This morning, as I was leaving to take Hud to school, I reminded him to go say bye to Fella. He leaned in my room and in his little 3 year old voice said, "Bye Fewwa. I miss you.". I couldn't have said it better myself.

Bye Fella. I miss you.

A letter to the Dooter

Well, it is time. The Dooter will become a Kindergartener tomorrow. He's really ready. Me, not so much. The roller coaster of emotions is seriously surprising to me. I can barely talk about it without tears welling up in my eyes and my throat getting tight. I'm so excited for him, but as a mom, I'm so sad that a chapter in his short little life is closing. I can no longer just say, "Let's skip preschool and go to the zoo." I feel like it was just yesterday that I was in the throws of potty training him and now he's off to school. It's gone by so fast. Too fast. I understand now what everyone told me. It's almost like a mourning period. My baby has grown into a kid and I can't go back. I figured the best way for me to deal with all the emotion is to write a letter to him.

My sweet wonderful boy,

I can not believe that you get to go to big kid school tomorrow! It's finally time. I know how excited you are. You have the luckiest teacher in the world because she now has one of the smartest, funniest and sincerest children around in her class. To be honest, I'm a bit jealous. She'll get to hear all of your funny observations throughout the day. She'll get to giggle at all the times you get excited and jump up and down. She'll also get to see your compassion. How you always include everyone and how you always make sure everyone around you is happy.
It seems like just yesterday you were born. You were the tiniest little thing. We had to rush around and find preemie clothes for you to wear because the newborn stuff was just too big. But, my how quickly you grew! Who knew that tiny baby would be one of the biggest kids his age.
Now, that sweet little baby that would wake me up 3 times a night for 2 years is going to school. Let me give you some advice:
1. Don't eat the paste. Seriously. Don't do it. Girls will never forget if you do.
2. Dont' stress too much. After all, it's only kindergarten and you are only 5. Some parents forget that stuff, but I don't. Be a kid. Enjoy it.
3. Be nice to everyone. You will encounter bullies and kids that get picked on. Both sides just need a friend. You are very good at including everyone, so don't ever lose that.
4. No matter how bad your day gets, know that I am patiently waiting to pick you up and give you lots of hugs.
So, tomorrow, as we walk through those big doors, hand in hand, I'm sure it will be you giving me the strength to leave you. Upon entering, I'll be leaving my baby, toddler and preschooler behind and picking up my "kid" at the end of the day. Sure, I'll cry. A lot. But, it's only because I'm so sad to be closing that chapter of your life. It went by too fast and I'll never have it again. But, I'm also looking forward to the person you are becoming. I love you more than you will ever know. Have a great day!

Love,
Mom

The Dooter's Health class

So, there are times when I really don't feel qualified to answer some of Henry's body related questions. Case in point....he thinks that I have a penis, it just broke off and I need to go to the store to get a new one. I have no clue where that came from, but clearly I'm not doing my job correctly.
Exhibit B: On Monday, we were heading up to meet friends to swim. I didn't make the boys wear shirts for the 5 minute car ride. As we're driving, I notice Henry is pulling on his nipple. Nice. I tell him to stop it. He retorts with, "What is this thing?". I tell him it's his nipple, while thinking, "Please Dear Lord, let it stop here.". But, no. He then asks me what they do. I tell him nothing. He asks, "Then why do we have them?". "I don't know. God just has a sense of humor I guess.". He then busts out with, "Do girls have them too?" I tell him yes and quickly yell, "OOOO! Did you see that giant dog run by the car?". That's the best part about little kids. Easily distracted. Later that day, we come home from the pool, and Henry walks in the bathroom while I'm changing. He announces, "Mom, I see your dibs!" I realize by dibs, he means nips, so I ran into the closet.
Exhibit C: We are perched on a bench yesterday morning at the dog park, watching our hounds go nuts. It being somewhat early, and well, it's the dog park, I didn't put any makeup on. Henry looks at my face for a while, then points to the giant zit on my chin and asks, "What's that?". Great. "It's a zit". He asks, "Yeah, but what is it?". I am now trying to explain to a 5 year old the concept of bacteria, stress and a new facial cleanser and how all 3 can jack up your skin. He thinks on it for a minute, and says, "I want a zit!" and starts rubbing his dirty hands all over his face.
That kid cracks me up! =)

Exhaustion, anyone?

There are times when I finally realize that I have pushed myself to the limits. Both mentally and physically. This was one of those weeks. Without getting into too much detail, the boys and I made an emergency trip home for a few days. Came home to an equally busy weekend. I had double the laundry and house work waiting when I got home, add in entertaining some fabulous friends on Saturday night, and having the boys wake me up at 6:30 every day this week and I'm now officially whipped. It was one of those weeks, that most of us moms have, where you feel like all you did was take care of everyone near and dear, except yourself. Again, add in the workaholic husband that is either too busy or too tired to really help. I'm trying hard not to be bitter or blow a gasket. :) I need the relax fairy to decend from the clouds and bring me champagne, fuzzy slippers and a massage. I think I have ventured into venting territory with this entry and you can tell how tired I am by the unorganized all over the place banter. I know the kids did some funny stuff this week, but my mushy brain is failing ot recognize it. Oh, and add in the overwhelming sadness I get when I think about Henry starting kindergarten in 2 weeks. I need September to get here. Could sure use some college football distraction.

Mini vacation week

Did ya miss us??? Nick has been working like a migrant donkey the last few weeks, so the boys and I packed up and headed to Austin for the week. It's amazing how fast time flies when you are too busy to scratch your butt! Seriously, I barely sat down. It's always fun to go visit, but equally exhausting. My sister in law and my mom and I took the boys and my niece and nephew down to Sea World. It was a blast! I'm surprised how well Hud did. All he cared about was seeing "Shampoo", so we tried to hold off that show until the afternoon. He even rode a roller coaster. Ok, by roller coaster, realize it's a loose term. We were in a car, shaped like a whale on about 200 feet of track that went in a hill filled loop. For being so small, it sure knocked the crap out of us. Sooo bumpy! But, he loved it. Then, Henry and my nephew drug us on the only other ride they were tall enough for. It didn't look to bad.....until I was on it and being towed up at what felt like a 65 degree incline 2 miles up. I started to worry that Henry would freak out, but he loved it. Even pretended to barf when we got off! Luckily, we had passes that kept us from waiting in the hour long line, so guess who rode it twice? It's so fun to be entering the kid phase with Henry. I mean, it's sad that he no longer wants to work on puzzles with me or occasionally still fall asleep in the afternoon laying on my shoulder. But, it's really neat being able to have a "kid" that's able to really appreciate the world around him. Good thing I've got that younger child that is still in the little guy phase.

Just a side note. I'm not sure who decided that the one piece swimsuit that is actually a bikini connected w/ a strip of material across the stomach is stylish, but they were wrong. Know why??? Because apparently it's the official suit of the pastey white obese Nascar crowd and they really enjoy parading around in public amusement parks in them. I'm sure the gay man in NYC that designed them for whatever label didn't plan on them being produced in XXL and being sold at Walmart.

Happy 4th....on the 8th!

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July. This was our first one to do all the fanfare w/ the kids. Not that we haven't tried in years past. But, due to weather, family crap and other road blocks, this is the first time the boys have seen fireworks. We spent Friday night in a small town about 3 miles up the road. Very small town. It was a cute event. We even got front row seats for the "display". However, when planning the place where the fire dept. would ignite the show, someone forgot to do the "how high are the trees and how high do these bottle rockets go" math. We saw about 1 in 4 that were shot off. Good use of taxpayer dollars, I'd say.
Saturday, we had a BBQ, which means Nick got up at 3am and spent the next 15 hours watching the smoker better than a newborn. We had friends over and then headed to another fireworks display. It was cute too, but come on! Where are the giant ones that I remember as a kid? You know, the ones that would rattle the car windows? I know they are out there and next year, that will be my quest.
There is always something so comforting about the 4th. Is it the patriotism brought out in everyone, even the Chinese store owner or the Pakistani pizza guy? Is it that it's the official, "summer is really here" holiday? I'm not sure. But there is just something about seeing all the red, white and blue everywhere that makes me smile. It's nice that once a year, the country realizes that it's not about where you are from, it's that you are here and it's our job, all of us, to protect it.

Stone Henge

Bitsy is a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong, we love the puppy, but good Lord has she regressed. She has decided to take up the hobby of recreating Stone Henge, in poop, on the gameroom floor. And, she likes to practice her craft as often as possible. Just like a child, after months of crate training, we thought she was fully house trained. This works for her because she likes to tunnel under our covers and sleep down in the depths of our bed at night. It's really cute, but also a dangerous sleeping arrangement, depending on what we had for dinner. Dutch Oven is a risky game for even a puppy.
But, I've noticed that on nights that she doesn't get her 3-4 mile walk, she retaliates by leaving land mines for me to find in the morning. Well, with the heat lately, the walks have become few and far between and Bitsy LaRue is not happy. It all came to a head finally, the other night. I was jolted from my sleep by the sound of ears flapping. I open one eye, and in the dark can make out the silhouette of a small dog sitting up at the foot of the bed. Great. Now I face the delima of do I get up and check or ignore the obvious? My OCD kicks in and I decide to go on a turd hunt....at 2am. I manage to stumble up the stairs and with one squinty dry eye open, I flip on the light and see it there on the floor. Stone Henge. In poop. I tip toe to the bathroom (b/c it is right across the hall from Hud's room) and grab some Kleenex and head back to the crime scene, pick up the mess and tip toe back to the bathroom to flush the little rocks away for good. Most people would go back to bed at this point. I'm not most people. Lucky for me, Santa brought me a spot bot for Christmas. If you aren't familiar, this little miracle is a steam cleaner that does all the work. There is no way I can sleep knowing that there are poop germs partying on the carpet, but I can't turn on the miracle worker in the middle of the night. It would definitely wake the boys. I decide to put it directly on the germ party, so in the morning I can just turn it on.
I come back downstairs and decide that she can not stay out the rest of the night. I pick up the dog and head back upstairs to put her in her cage. Back downstairs I go. No wonder I have insomnia!
Nick gets up for work early, so out of pity, I have him let Bitsy back out so she can cover dive and sleep in her favorite spot. I get up a bit later and have coffee, but don't go upstairs right away b/c the boys are still sleeping. Not long later, I hear Hud at the top of the stairs announcing, "Mom! Bitsy go poop in my toys!". WHAT!?!?!?! Surely, surely this is wrong. I go flying up the stairs and low and behold....Stone Henge again! How much food did that dog eat the day before? Well, at this point, it's out of the spot bots realm, so I had no choice but to fire up the big gun and just clean the entire upstairs carpet. Dog 1, Me 0. Wait, scratch that b/c she now sleeps in her cage. Dog 1, Me 1.

Hudson BalboaI

For those of you that know Hudson, you know the trials and tribulations we have gone through over the last 18 months with him beating up kids smaller than him. I mean, the kid is 3, and little for 3, so there isn't much to pick from when you are looking for kids smaller than him. He's gotten much better and the last few months haven't shown any trouble. Ah, but today....I picked the boys up from gymnastics day camp and should have noticed by the dark clouds and vultures looming overhead that evil was afoot. I walked in and see him being put in time out. Great. I sit in the back for a few minutes and observe. He's fake crying, trying so hard w/ those big brown eyes to manipulate the 16 year old girl that is attempting discipline. I walk up and she tells me that he has PUNCHED a girl in the eye! Whaaaaa??? I ask if he was provoked, fully knowing the answer. Seems it got a bit chaotic and he started crying and decided that the little 3 year old girl next to him was responisble for it all. I guess I need to start sending him to camp in a little stained white tank top, fake barbed wire arm tattoos and putting his juice in an old Miller Lite can.

Maiden Voyage

By popular demand, and by popular, I mean like 8 people, I have decided to start a blog. I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys, Henry is 5 and Hudson is 3. I share a home w/ my wonderful workaholic husband, 3 cats, 2 dogs and a partridge in a pear tree. Most days are spent doing glamorous things like cleaning,grocery shopping, working out, cleaning, Wii tournaments (and losing to the 5 year old), cleaning and cleaning. Being a SAHM (stay at home mom for all y'all novices) after years in the sales force is still an adjustment. I have a shrine to the former me in my closet because I refuse to get rid of my Ann Taylor suits and fab high heel collection. It's like asking my husband to sell his motorcycle. There are just some things we won't do. I tend to refocus my energy into decorating my little castle, inventing recipes and trying to be the most creative mom I can be. So, stay tuned. Most of my material comes from the boys and it's usually good for a laugh. I'll leave you with an example:

As I was driving home recently, we passed a large heard of cattle grazing in a field. Henry says, "Look....those cows are having lunch." I said, "Yes, and they need to eat up so they'll get fat and juicy.". "Why?", he asks. I explain, as best I can, "That's were burgers come from. They get ground up and made into burgers.". Henry sits quietly for a minute, little brain wheels turning, and says, "Well, that's not very nice for the cows, is it?".

Good night all......