Monday rant

Where do I begin??? Seriously, today was one of those days where everyone I encountered got on my nerves. Henry started in with his 1000 questions as soon as his feet hit the floor. What's for lunch? What's for dinner? When do I graduate? Is tomorrow summer? Will I be a dad next November? OMG kid, my coffee hasn't even kicked in yet! Hud and I then head out into the 36 degree thunderstorm to head to the gym. I always laugh at the irony of the people driving around for a close spot...AT THE GYM! For Pete's sake, walk. So, Hud and I hid under a giant golf umbrella and made it inside. Now, I love my Monday morning class, but man is it full of weirdos! Olivia Newton John is there, always in a flippin' half shirt. Next to her is Joe Cool who is in desperate need of a full torso wax, but insists on wearing print tanks w/ the gigantic arm holes. Chatty Cathy the cell phone girl is still there. There's also a group of old guys I dubbed the Grumpy Old Men, although they don't seem grumpy.
Next, we head back into the crappy weather to the grocery store. Last week, at the deli, I got some middle Eastern guy, fresh off the camel, God love him, who had no clue how to operate the giant slicer wheel. Took me 15 minutes to get 1/2 a pound of turkey. Painful. Well, of course, guess who I got today. Apparently, he only worked last Monday, because that damn slicer got the best of him again today. Head to checkout and the crazy single cat lady saw my bag of cat litter and got all excited, literally squealed, and asked what kind of cat I had. I really thought about telling her it was for my kids b/c potty training just didn't work out for us.
This afternoon, the boys had their martial arts class. It is always a nightmare. I guess it's a great place for all the parents that don't believe in discipline or even just looking at your child like to hang out. There are so many kids that need a boot up their butts, it's unreal! I was also reminded of a very important lesson for all you parents out there. Watch your kid. Even if you just glance their way every 30 seconds or so. Why? Your kid could have been the one today, standing next to my kid, digging up his nose and eating boogers!!! Barf! Where was his mother? Why didn't she give him a snack before class???? Kids are disgusting little creatures that must be watched for this exact reason.
What does that bumper sticker say? The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. There are days, like today, when that couldn't be more true.